I walk amongst carnage and chaos. I walk amongst destruction. I walk in the days of judgement. The roads are both empty and full, bodies of the heretics and fornicators litter the street everywhere I look, and they smell, they stink, just like they said I did! No more, haha no more! Not me, not any more. The sky’s on fire, burning, the purple clouds full of dust. The flickering flames are dancing, twisting, grabbing, snatching at the bad ones that tried to rise. I told them. I told them all. I warned them! They laughed at me, they called me crazy, they pushed and shoved and spat at me. They threw drinks at me, they pinched me and laughed. They even locked me in a cell, put wires in my head, laughed when I said I was a chosen one. Well they’re not laughing now, it’s their turn to scream and burn! Ha!
I walked over the crumbled rock and stone where great skyscrapers once stood, and I laughed and laughed to see so much damage. The cars of the rich and sinful clutter the roads, all broken and useless, all dead. Dead, dead, dead, like everything else! Dead, but not me. Nope, not me. I warned them! These people, these foolish foolish people, they never listened, they built, they sinned, they fought and laughed and ignored the good teachings of the lord. They died.
It had started two whole weeks ago, first there had been the Boom, Boom, BOOM as gigantic balls of flame were tossed out of the sky! And then there had been fire, lots and lots of fires and screaming and crying and more CRASHes as the buildings fell apart and crushed many who had survived the fires. Then people started creeping out of their hiding places, sick and green, their skin melting away from the bones, but that was okay too because they died a day or so later and they never saw me. Some of the fires went out by themselves, some still burning, fires of hell! Haha. Now I could take anything I wanted. Anything at all. The entire city was my home and people passed through shocked, dazed and afraid. They should have listened to me.
It’s always dark and cloudy now and smelly. Not all the bad people have died. Not yet. He has missed some, but He will come back. Yes, He will. Most of them walked about in small groups lost and feeling sorry for themselves, they walked on and on and didn’t even see me. Some are still bad even now. They run at me and hit me and steal from me. Doesn’t matter, it will all be mine, when they die. Sometimes it’s good though, sometimes I hide and they don’t see me, and they fight amongst themselves and then there’s even more bodies! Maybe that’s what He wanted; maybe He wanted the really bad ones to kill themselves, before they burned in hell. Ha! I warned them all!
Who’s crazy now?!
The rivers run red with blood; ash rains down from the sky just like the good book says. It is hell on earth for many, but not for me. Nope. All I have to do is hide enough food and treasure until He comes back to take me up to His side. I was good. I did what He told me to do. I warned them. They’re dead and dying and I’m not!
Demons, demons all. Disguised in human flesh. Demons sent to tempt and corrupt from the nameless one down below. Well the Lord sure showed them! He burned them, He cursed them, He chopped and boiled and slaughtered them! Haha, they wouldn’t change, they wouldn’t listen.
A plague upon them. Them, not me.
Day after day more sinners die, fewer and fewer left to torment me. The fires of hell themselves are burning out. There is silence. Nothing but silence. The bodies in the street rot and the smell, the stink, oh the stench is dreadful, but that’s okay. That’s how it should be. They died. They deserve it. The bad ones. No one to bury them. No one to bless them. Ha! I shout and shout as I walk through the destruction, the crumbled blackened buildings, shout as loud as I can, whenever I feel like it, and there is no one to tell me to shut up. To go to hell. To die. No one.
It’s fine. It’s all fine. He will come for me, not any of these. The rotten souls of these bad bad people would face eternal torment, but not me. Nope. He would honour and reward me beyond my wildest dreams. He was going to come for me. He said He would. He promised. He is just a little busy, that’s all. Just a little busy cleaning up all this mess. The time of man is over, but not for me. No sir, not for me.
I wait and I gather more precious little things around me; things I’ve never even been able to touch before. Shiny things. Pretty things. No one else wants them. Ha. No one else can have them. They’re mine.
More days come and go, and each day I walk out on the streets amongst the dead and I spit at them and laugh. When night comes, I hide away from the horrors that have been released, the devils shadow, the bad people, the demons, the things. I hide and hide and don’t make a peep until the sun rises again. Why hadn’t He come for me yet? He said He would. He promised. Why didn’t He come? Why did He leave me here under this scary sky?
He would know where to find me. He knew everything. He was all-knowing, all-mighty… but maybe He couldn’t see through such badness. Maybe I need to move. Away from the demons and their trickery. Away from the rotting sinners, to a place where He can see me more clearly. Could take me with Him. That’s all, I just needed to move.
I would. I would pack up all my little treasures and move that very night, before it’s too late. A church. Not just any church though. Saint Pauls Cathedral. The holiest of them all. Ha! Nobody but He would find me in there. Nobody.
The cathedral is still standing. The walls outside have been blackened by the fire, the glass has been shattered, but the inside looks untouched by everything. That was as it should be. No one, not even the nameless one, would dare stick his hand into the Lord’s house. Ha. It was beautiful inside. I’d always known it would be. They hadn’t let me in before, but here I was and where were they? Dead! Dead, dead and dead! Ha!
I shut the doors behind me and sit down to wait. He wouldn’t be long now. Nope. I was in His house, He could see me and all I had to do was wait!
I slept, I woke.
I prayed. Please hurry, O’Lord. Please hurry. The demons of hell are on my heels. The bad ones. The Sinners. They won’t dare to enter His house, will they? They want to torment me, to spit and laugh at me. They want to hurt me again. Don’t let them. Don’t let them. They are coming. They’re here. The doors!
Quick. Block the doors, mustn’t let them in, they can’t come in here, unclean, evil, not in this holy place! Pile all the pews up, block the doors, can’t let them in. Only me, I’m the only good one. Hide the doors, stack it up. Only me, not the sinners. Only me.
Why isn’t He here yet? It’s been ages! Days and days and days, it must have been! Why couldn’t He see me? He promised He would come. He promised! I did everything He asked me to. I warned the sinners, I told them to change their ways. It wasn’t my fault they didn’t listen. Wasn’t my fault they preferred being mean! Why wasn’t He here?
What? What have I done? I’m so stupid! Stupid, stupid! I slap my head, trying to remember. I’m a fool! So stupid! Forgive me. Forgive me. I…
The cathedral!
I moved His stuff, in His own house, without permission! I… I didn’t have faith that He would protect me from them. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
I attack the barricade piece by piece. I have to get everything back to where it was. Exactly where it was. He wouldn’t come. I have to do it now. Quick. I have to move them!
No! No, that didn’t go there! I can’t … it was … Over there! Yes, I need to get it back. He will come when I have. I know He will. He promised. He promised. I just need to get it back. NO! It’s not right. None of it is right. It’s all wrong!
It’s all wrong!
I threw the cupboard I was holding. SMASH! It hit the wall and fell to pieces on the floor. I whirled around. The noise startled me. No one could come here. No one. It was… it was broken. I couldn’t fix it. I had to. I had to fix it! No, no, no, it wasn’t me. I didn’t do it. I didn’t mean to. I couldn’t. I can’t… I...
I… GOT IT WRONG AGAIN! Why am I so stupid?
Why would He come here anyway? This is a fake house. This is tainted. This is the house of the Pharisees. This was where the rich people came, where they bought their forgiveness from corrupt priests! This was a house of sinners in disguise! Lies, lies, all lies! He would know. He would not come here. That’s why I am still here. He won’t come for me here. I need to go. Now!
I took my treasures pilled in the supermarket trolley, and left everything else inside, stacked in the middle. The sinner’s house had to be destroyed. I took petrol, lots and lots and lots of petrol, not so stupid that I didn’t know how to get it from all the dead cars, Ha! and BOOM! More fire. More hot. More destruction. Good. It was good. It wasn’t His house any more. It was tainted. Ruined. Bad.
I walk and sleep and walk and sleep and still He does not come for me. I leave the city. The stench of the bodies is bad, bad. But that’s okay. That’s okay. I walk past them. I walk over them. I don’t even look at them now. I push my trolley full of treasures and I walk.
I find a better place to hide. A small church all on its own. The sort of place that no rich person would enter. No greedy bad person. It was small. Very small and the greedy people can’t even fit their pride in. Haha. Big heads! Big silly stupid heads! I shut and bolt the door behind me.
I wait.
Why hadn’t He come for me yet? Why was He doing this to me? Was He testing my faith? He promised. HE PROMISED!
He had to.
It’s so quiet now. So very quiet. No more Boom’s or Bang’s, no more screams or shouts or yells of pain. No nothing. It’s scary. Do the bad people still make those noises when they come? Do they still come?
They had to. They were probably sneaking about in the dark, stealing and snatching and lying and fighting and drinking and and…
Why wasn’t He here?
What had I done to make Him hate me so? What have I done wrong? There had to be something. I was good. I wasn’t like all the others. I did what He told me. I tried to warn them. I tried. They spat at me and laughed and were so mean, and I still tried. I was good. Why didn’t He come for me? I cry.
WHY IS IT SO SILENT?! The silence is so loud; I can’t stand it anymore. I scream and shout and rant and rave and slam and bang, and feel a bit better. Anything but this suffocating silence. No birds singing, no dogs barking, no nothing!
My new pretty shirt is ruined. It’s all dirty and ripped and… and…
Stealing…
Was it stealing when the owners were dead? It couldn’t be… but He hasn’t come for me yet! I… stupid, stupid, stupid! How could I be so stupid?!
Forgive me… forgive me… I didn’t mean to. I’ll give it all back. Everything. I run to the trolley that is overflowing with my precious treasures, the little shiny things that I’ve never ever been able to look at before, could never hope to own. Music and clothes, lots of pretty clothes, toys and little cars with a remote and a tiny little computer and shiny rings and necklaces and food… all of it goes out of the window. One by one. All the time I beg for His forgiveness. Even the shirt off my back goes. Stupid!
And then I cry, I laugh, I wail. Cry because they were so pretty, so mine, and laugh because it’s over, He’ll come for me now. He has to. I’m good again. Good again.
Good again. Right? He knows what I did, He knows I’m sorry. He knows I didn’t mean it…. But I need … I have to … confess! If I confess, then it will all be alright again. I need a priest. Where will I find a priest? This is a good church, untainted, clean, there has to be one here… there has to be! PRIEST! PRIEST, WHERE ARE YOU?
The vestry that’s it! He will be there; he has to be. I rush to the side door; there he is sat at his desk with his back towards me. Father, Father shrive me! He won’t come for me if I’m not clean, He promised. Please. Please. Father.
I grab his chair and spin it towards me. His face … his face… his face has no flesh, no eyes, no soul! NO!
But he was good! He was a Priest, a helper, a spreader of His word! This isn’t right, this is all wrong. ALL WRONG!
It’s too quiet. Too silent. Why isn’t there any banging and laughing? Why isn’t there any screams and cries? Why…?
Where is everybody?
Where are all the bad people? I walked and walked and walked to get here and I didn’t see a single living person. Haven’t for ages and ages. It’s all wrong. He was a priest! Why hasn’t He come for me yet? Why didn’t He help His followers? I’m the goodest of them all but they couldn’t ALL have been bad, could they? Why wasn’t He here? He promised! He… He isn’t coming.
I can’t stand it anymore. I can’t… please… please, it’s too quiet. It hurts. It hurts so much. I think I’m deaf. I’m scared and alone and… PLEASE! I don’t care anymore, I don’t care if they laugh at me and poke me and hit me and call me crazy, I don’t care, I don’t want to be alone. I don’t like it. Please. I… I… I want them to come back. Please!
They can pick on me and call me names, they can push and shove and spit at me, they can throw things at me and laugh laugh laugh! Let them come back, I can’t stand it. I’m all alone and I can’t hear anything and IT’S TOO QUIET!
I run outside and fall to my knees on the doorstep of the church, looking around wildly in every direction. Nothing. No one. No cars, no laughing, no name-calling, no meanness, no nothing. I can’t take it. I want them back. I want them all back. I… I’m sorry. I…
My God, why have you forsaken me?